Changes

Hey guys, well since mikey2 is very busy w/ college applications, hockey, play, volunteering, zen study n other recreational activities i'm putting up another post. n i'd like to dedicate this to a friend of mine who had the courage to come out this week.
have you guys ever been w/ someone that kinda changed who you are a lil bit but in a good way? y'know cuz there was this guy n he was so much different than me n everything was new n exciting. i loved spending time w/ him. he was impulsive in a way i'm not, never hid his feelings, introduced me to some bands... he was like a breath of fresh air n all of a sudden i found myself doing stuff n going to places i wouldn't normally go. he taught me to be bold, to take things easier, not to worry so much. that life is too short. he taught me to live in a fuller way n to say "fuck this" once in a while. as a result i put a lot of things into perspective n reevaluated my life, who i was, who i can be n what i can do. i became more accepting of others n of myself, less judgmental n learned to do stupid stuff once in a while n that that's fine too.
n that's what i'm thankful for. have you ever been w/ someone that changed you like that, or have you ever changes others?
btw i loved that chat we had the other day.
all the best to all of you, all the best to my friend.
luke
guest contributor

"be courageous n be brave
n in my heart you'll always stay
forever young"
















"over the town" by chagall

Rio - my pics

Hey guys,

First of all, for all you guys who took part in the contest this has nothing to do w/ it. I haven't won anything, I'm just here as a contributor.

So now how about I take you guys around my neighbourhood? A while ago I went around taking pics n I'd like to share some:

So these ones are of the way I take to ride my bike. It goes along this huge beach. Funny thing (you guys are gonna hate me for this) summer is coming here while winter is coming up there. Also I'm already in daylight saving time so I'm 2h ahead of ET n soon your daylight saving time is gonna end n I'll be 3h ahead of ET. Well back to my bike, this red painted side road is the "ciclovia" which starts in a residential area n goes into this protected wood area.

This is the rain forest. I believe Rio has the largest forest inside a city. But it is decreasing cuz of urban area increase. I've gone there a few times for hiking but sadly it's impossible to camp, the woods are too dense n the terrain is too steep. It's incredibly humid but some tracks take you to very high mounts w/ amazing view. You can also go hang gliding (someday I'll work up the nerve to do it).

This beautiful view is my way to work. See that bridge down there?

N finally a lil social aspect of class inequality. See the slums along side some big houses in the mount, Brazil has one of the highest social gaps in the world. The middle class is only 25% of the population against, what I think is, 85% in America. The statisticians say that Brazil is an Africa w/ a Belgian in the middle (statistically the middle n upper classes are similar to the Belgians n the lower classes are similar to Africans).The slums are also where things get dangerous, they're home to drug trafficking, drug lords n gang wars w/ AK47s.

But in these last decade things have been improving, thanks largely to a more stable economy (our stock market had a huge rally, we avoided the global crisis completely cuz here it's illegal to trade mortgage-backed securities or ABS... n Brazil's GDP might grow something like 5%) hey we're part of the BRICs.

Well I guess this is it. Thanks for coming. See ya soon.

Luke

guest contributor

P.S: All these pics are mine.

Hey guys- ive been missing the old dynamic. im gonna get started with a contest.

all you have to do is be a reader or commenter on this site, have something to say, and want the whole world to hear you.

i know- all you want to know about is THE PRIZE!
First place: you win a weekly column on my blog for the whole world to see. no registration, no set-up, no hassle. just a few emails or pms.
Second place: you win a one-time post on my blog, good for one month after winners are declared.
Third place: wins a paragraph blockquote in one of my blog entries, good for one month, just like second prize.
Honorable Mentions: win a couple sentences in the next entry after winners are declared.

How to enter: tell me how you would use the opportunity to tell the world something, with no strings attached. whether in formspring, forum, comment, or pm. BE SURE TO TYPE "mikeytoo's contest" SOMEWHERE IN YOUR ENTRY!

The Fine Print:
("Mikeytoo" consists of the author pseudonymous as Mikeytoo, any judges he employs, site administrators of hockeykidil.blogspot.com, and anyone employed, as an employee or volunteer, under the name "Mikeytoo".) Mikeytoo reserves the right to change any rules/conditions/times/dates/acceptance criteria without any prior notice to participants, spectators, guest judges, administrators, or moderators("users"). Participants agree that any information, intellectual property, and any statements made are on the public forum and therefore can be used by Mikeytoo. Participants may "opt-out" or terminate participation by deleting any post or comment, or sending a private message/email with the wanted redactions included. Mikeytoo is not affiliated with "BDNY", "BDNYNation", or any of their affiliates. The author takes full responsibility for their words and any formal charges brought forth involving these words. Mikeytoo intends to keep privacy and confidentiality as well as customer satisfaction its highest priorities, but accidents happen; should you be dissatisfied with any actions taken by Mikeytoo, contact it privately. Mikeytoo reserves the right to terminate a participants participation in the contest for any reason without prior notice to any "users". (You do not own content submitted to this contest, but are responsible for requesting redaction/withdrawal in a timely manner if you wish your application redacted/withdrawn from consideration)... NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.

About a hug

A few of days ago Mikey invited me to comment here, that just goes to show you that he's a really generous n selfless guy. We were chatting about the different aspects of hugging, yeah hugging, go figure... n he thought that'd make a nice post. I hope he hasn't totally regretted it... Mikey is a pretty big hugger but I, on the other hand, like being hugged better, I'm the opposite. It's just that I like it when a big guy completely envelops me, I like the weight, the warmth (not just physical), the feeling of beloging n fitting in that right spot.

You feel protected, sheltered n also powerless but it's a good powerless, giving up power to someone you trust is exhilarating. It's kinda like you were in a rollercoaster, you just surrender, have fun n trust that everything will be all right. The truth is that you're not really giving up power but that they're so attentive n kind n caring that you feel like you're in the centre of the world (at least their world, which is pretty great). What an awesome feeling! N the opposite is also true, their hug is so huge that it surrounds you completely n they become your world.

I'm not a fem n I don't fit the gay stereotype either but I know there are heterosexual tensions in homosexual relationships. But hey, there are straight guys wo like being dominated by women n that doesn't make them less of a man. It's a fetish like many others but it's also much more. It's also about closeness, being ther for each other, intimacy, trust n acceptance.

A hug is more intimate than a lot of things, even a kiss, imo. Western culture is pretty much about individuality n "personal space". There's inhibitions, shyness n we think that tenderness is a weakness, that being sentimental is silly. We're also afraid of not being hugged back, that we won't be correponded so we don't put ourselves out there.

N this computer stuff doesn't help either. I think that's why teens today hug waaay more than they used to, they miss human touch. That's a good thing. Plus ppl are always doing massages n shiatsu n stuff not cuz they need massages but I think cuz they need human touch yeah so now you gotta pay to be touched.

But I think we gotta put ourselves out there more often (at least I do). We think we can retain power n be strong n all that but I read somewhere that to gain power you gotta give it up first n it's true. For example, think of a singer, he goes to thousands of ppl n sings n opens his heart out n says very intimate, personal things n what he gets? lots of fans, respect n love back. He doesn't lose but gains power.

There are lots of things that we can say are hugs like: cuddling, spooning, holding... there are fake hugs, hugs w/ taps on the back that's like saying "enough hugging pal", hugs that rock sideways (these are awesome), w/ rubs on the back... as long as they're honest n you mean it, it's all good.

So don't know what's my point cuz I don't really have one. So I guess that's it... hope you liked it. Don't forget to check Madeleine's blog, she's got a new post n go to Tyler's blog too, he's a good guy who's asking for our help. Thanks Mikey for everything, this was fun. N I really hope someday we can all meet n, what the heck, hug.
Luke
guest contributor
P.S: This is a painting by a famous Brazilian artist, Romero Britto, called "The Hug"

yawn.

hockey season has officially started here. you can tell by the bags under my eyes and the freshmen who consistently talk bout how theyre on the team. oi. i never know what to say bout that. i didnt flaunt my hockey career (mainly cuz i never did anything awesome... but neither did they) and i still dont. its odd. yeah. between morning practices and workout sessions im pretty wiped. but you gotta do work to get work done (tantology, anyone?).

so. what you all give a damn about- boys. irish is lookin pretty good right now... but hes an alcohomo... so i gotta do some work with him before i can get anything. breaking peoples misconceptions about homo is harder than convincing that fat girl who cries a lot that shes really attractive. dont get me wrong, mikey can do it- but mikey needs to stop talking in the third person first. i either need hours alone with him or copious amounts of alcohol. the latter, even in this age, is easier. ill have to hit him up after he comes home from a party. easily done. i always see him wrestling with himself- especially bout hanging out with me. he knows im a 'mo, and hes kinda awk bout it. i gave him an amazing massage- but then he "had to leave" i think he meant to say "was embarrassed he had a boner"... w/e. i know he'll come crawling back. its how guys work. im like a siren. except for how this is all proably just a dream sequence.

my next point- how often do you get your hopes up bout a guy only to realize he, for one reason or another, doesnt think its right to be with you? you ever been there? i seem to attract closet-dwellers(hot ones, at that) only to realize they live so far in the closet they couldn't turn the doorknob if they tried. that ever happened to you? howd it turn out? you ever do a deep closet rescue?

I'm kinda lonely...

so... last saturday or sunday, while i was sleeping in, all i could think about was boy after boy. you might say "mikey- how is this not normal?" to which i answer "it is not extraordinary, but it hurt this time." im not unhappy or depressed, but it just seems like im missing boys more than ever. i long just for physical contact. just a cuddle or a hug- maybe- just maybe- a kiss. it eats me alive. i feel like a cutie with soft skin and a warm smile is what i need right now, but i have little chance of finding him. i hope im wrong. sometimes i just lay and pretend like im not lying there alone. pretend i have french, b, or awk holding me. that someone needs me, and that i need them. it leaves me feeling empty. i enjoy spending time just with myself, but i just wish there was someone i could count on to make me happy and to make happy. i guess thats all i really wanted to say. morning practice- better get to bed. ill see you, family #2. m#2, out.

just a quick question

think its worth signing up for adsense? a little kickback wouldnt be bad, i could use a little dough. but ill leave it up to you guys to persuade me.

my current sitch

so. i noticed i havent really gone into details about my friends and stuff. i realized that its important to let you guys know how awkward my situation really is. ive got about three really close friends who i hang out with most of the time. theres other people i occasionally hang out with, but its almost always the four of us. we have the quiet kid, the annoying/whiny kid, the awkward kid, and me- the funny kid. excluding the times i want to kill the annoying one, i enjoy my friends a lot. we spend almost every friday together and most saturdays when nobodys got a game are with each other. its amazing. we spend a bunch of time together, know each other well, and are always there for support. we have so many inside jokes that i cant even write down. but heres the awkward part. the awkward one is attractive... and i mean attractive... he knows im gay- but hes really still getting used to it. i know hes straight, and i know i have no chance, but i just cant get over him. its hard cuz i'll be sitting close to him, see his smile, and then melt. which is hard to work around. hey- you wanna watch a mov-(melt)*squeee*-ie. considering him, my other friends, and i are pretty much inseperable- im stuck with it.

comment question- wtf am i supposed to do with this? i feel like im gonna die when im five feet away from him- its like fantasy-fuckin-land. any ideas?

band-aids.

could we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars?
i feel a lot better guys, and thanks for the support. Pots has been yelling me to keep posting even though i really hate it (thats for all the times you ragged on me, pots! ha!)... but i realized soon enough that i need to be strong, not just for me, but for all the other cutey fruitys out there who dont know what to do. and to suggest they wear skinny jeans and come visit me. it gets hard some times, but i want you guys to know that id never leave this world- i love you too much (and boys too much) to leave you alone; what would you guys do without my wonderful humor and lip-syncing? ive thought a lot about everything and i wanted to ask you guys- you ever feel like not being with a guy is disappointing because you know you could make them happy? i always say that ill settle for best friend, but fact of the matter is i want to give more. it hurts knowing that we cant wake up in each other's arms or kiss. sex would be fun too. but the thoughts just- hurt. you feel an empty spot bubble up and you grab a teddy bear. its like when you drink coke too fast and you burp out your soul. or you watch (better yet, play on) a team take it to the cup and get stomped (sorry flyers fans). thats the worst bit. not the rejection or dismissal, just the thoughts. "thinking bout her, thinking bout me, thinking bout us, what we gon' be; open my eyes, yeah, it was only just a dream"

shit

i know ive let you guys down with my lack of blog posts. i'd like to apologize right now. but its time for sad mikey. ive gotten to the point where i think i need some sort of drugs just to keep me going from day to day. i feel like im constantly failing at everything i do. actually, i take it back- i AM failing at everything i do. friends. family. school. hockey. lets just say im on the last line for the third year in a row. ive ditched and been ditched by most of my friends. i'll never have a guy in a million years. i'm just so f'ing tired of this. im gonna talk to a therapist and get happy pills. i just cant go on with all my problems forever. its mikey- the human punching bag, the kid who cant shoot, the kid whos insecure, the faggot who cant get a guy, the actor who cant find the time in his jerking off schedule to act- except like a straight boy. thats all ive ever been, thats all ill ever become. its my destiny to make everyone feel better about their shitty lives. f me. f me hard.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

f me. ill just cry like the pussy i am. the usual mikey.
a nice grim comment question- what does being happy feel like? i honestly cant remember.

^^why god doesnt exist^^
im out. M2

gayboy crushes hurt

I wanted to talk about an experience i had today. i was sitting at the mall waiting for my sister and mom to meet up with me, and a beautiful guy walked past. i mean beautiful. i could barely even think. he had the kind of hair that says PLAY WITH MEEEEE really loud. eyes that matched. very modern european facial structure. u know what the worst part was? it reminded me of b. the hair. the eyes. the face. it was all structured perfectly. so was b's. it made me feel hollow. i felt like something was missing. i wanted to just grab on to someone and never let go. it hurts just thinking about it- the perfect guys all remind me of each other. and i just want a teddy bear to squeeze. to dry my tears. thats all i really wanted to say. thanks for reading.
mikeytoo. out.

CLARIFICATION

My last post sparked some really insightful conversation. I'd like to clarify my previous statements. Think about this: have you ever had a "friend with benefits"? If you have, id like to get a comment about how you felt and how it ended up. If you think about it, FWB is really a relationship with sex and non-intimate relation. Im gonna start at the basics and work my way up here, so follow my logic:

1.You like sex. A lot. Too much almost. (im a mind reader, i swear)
2.Sex does not initiate a relationship by its own power. I can have sex with a hooker or have a one night stand and completely enjoy myself.
3.Relationships arent always good, easy to work with, obtainable, or pleasurable.

Because of axioms 1-3 i have proven that sex feels good, even without a relationship.
can we all agree about that?
(NOTE: by "feel good" i mean aim to climax. i realize there are many wrong ways to skin a cat.)

1.Sex without a relationship is good.
-Relationships are completely unimportant to the rest of this proof-
THIS NOW GOES REVERSE (ANALYSIS)
2.Consider all the forms of non-relational sex. Masturbation. Mutual masturbation. Friends With Benefits.
3.Look at friends with benefits as a step up from mutual masturbation.
4.Look at mutual masturbation as advanced masturbation.
5.Masturbation can be done in literally an infinite number of ways, all of which feel good.
6.Mutual masturbation, like masturbation can be done an infinite number of ways. all of which feel good.
7.The partner, in terms of mutual masturbation, doesnt matter. It still has the same goal: to feel good. No matter what, it approaches its goal, and feels good.
8.FWB can be done an infinite number of ways: Boys. Girls. Trans of every variety- All of which feel good.
9.The partner, in terms of FWB, doesnt matter. It still has the same goal: to feel good. No matter who does it, it approaches its goal, and feels good.
10.Boy.Girl.Trans. in terms of FWB, all feel good.
11.Explain to me where the "disgust" comes from.

From points 1-11, we can come to understand that pleasure is separate from sex and relationship. To claim that you only want to have sex with one type of person is arrogant in its nature (not arrogant with its negative connotation, just arrogant- overstepping ones bounds in terms of power). This was my earlier point. We all like sex. Why do we limit ourselves? Frankly- media. We're told we have to choose what we like, what we want to have sex with.

Dont get me wrong. I wont say theres not preference. Preference matters- kind of. I think that two people fairly close to each other shouldnt limit their experience as two humans because of some odd ideals instilled in them. I think sex brings us together on a natural level. I would have sex with most people i know. I want to screw almost constantly, and so do the people i know. Allow me to ask the most important question: Why not?

Thanks for reading. This took me a pretty long time. I would love to hear all your opinions.

lity and that "turning" is merely enlightenment of that human nature.

neuroscience, couldnt it really be a fight againt the inborn animal nature to fuck everything and anything? I posit that human nature is that of bisexua

bisexual desires. I was thinking- a lot of gays think that being gay/bi ends the fight against themselves. If we consider freudian psychology and modern

Textin this from the road... Lets hope it comes out alright. So. I had a question for everyone. Can ppl be "turned" gay? Perhaps to realize theyre inborn

So... ive had a bland last few days... except for two things- here i go:
The first weird thing is that my friend, crush, and longtime challenge, B , started t-bombing me a tonsies. its weird, he loves complimenting me, but it might just be cuz im a complimentary person, and he got used to it. its nice tho. he'll text me every once in a while, i'll text him every once in a while. a conversation will start. its pretty awesomesauce( ED:i originally typed that as awesome but decided to change it, awesomesauce is so much thicker than awesome). so yeah.

Thing the second:
i was texting eirey who's a totally "straight" boy... and i realized something. i was talking about what it means to be gay... i tried to explain it, but i remembered how the label doesnt really work. i just ended up saying "sex and relationships are neither integrally related nor mutually exclusive. i was telling him bout how guys dont need to reject sexual relations with someone because theyre "straight", just as i dont reject female relations because im "gay". lets face it- sex feels good no matter what, so why should we live in fear of it? we make sex(happen?), sex doesnt make us(well... not in the literal sense). feel free to limit your relationships to whatever works best for you, but sex, in moderation of course, is good for you. ive always said, try everything once- cuz guys are awesome, but girls are too. refuse labels- let sex be sex and love be love.

tokyo center, mike2 requesting touch-and-go, off to bigger and better.
tokyo center, mike2, out.

coming out... kind of.

well... theres nothing that beats a good blowj... i mean... coming out story. so i figured id tell you mine.

the alarm sounded endlessly. i woke up- my second to last week of freshman summer had started... i was so exhilarated- i was gonna go to a block party with some friends and i was pumped. i showered, put on my lame clothes (i had no fashion sense... i look back- completely disgusted... ;-) ) and i rushed out the door. we were gonna spend the whole day together, me and my 3 best friends- J, S, and A. after i got dropped off the fun began. we had a total party and ran around and J, a girl, was flirty... i was like... whatever, cool. someone called me gay, to which i replied, in jest, "more like bi." i spent the night at j's house.

the next day was another adventure. i went to s's house where we watched a movie and hung out. after the movie was over, j kissed me. she had the softest lips, like... ever. i didnt want it to end- i kissed her back. my courage skyrocketed. i was like- that was aweeeesomeeeee. eventually i had to leave s's house and go back home. before i even got there- i started texting j. i was just jumping with joy and courage and egotism and happiness... i was like "i've needed to tell you something for a long time" "what" "im bi if not gay". i texted s about it, and, to my surprise, found out s was a froot as well... s and i talked for hours about the perfect guy. abs and stuff... hair... people i liked at school... and i eventually decided to just go by the colloquial term "gay". j cried for like 2 weeks. everyone told me to feel bad, but i didnt really have anything to feel bad about... so i didnt. j was/is no longer my friend.

thats the basic story of how i came out. its not crazy exciting... but its true.

and yes. i did kind of like a girl.

who let the dogs
out,
mikey the second.

Oneness

Sorry no post for a few days... i was busy with some friends.

I'd like to start off by saying something negative- some people really dont like homosexuals. i cant understand why. its one of those irrational fears- like world-devouring pandas (damn you ling-ling!). I challenge one phobic straight person to explain why gays merit fear- is it the scarves and skinny jeans? is it the generally non-violent approach to change? are you sure its not the goddamn scarves? is it cuz we dont conform to your understanding of gender roles?

how did we get from not conforming to hating? i want anyone who hates to provide me with a valid psychological explanation, cuz this has plagued me for years. with all the horrific happenings around the world, is something as infinitesimally small as homosexuality worth focusing on? will people remember that a guy who cured cancer was a flaming fruitcup, or that he cured cancer? think about it.

this brings me to a separate point. i was thinking about people, but without any labels. this is hard to do, but you eventually realize that were connected on the most primal level. what hurts one of us usually hurts all of us, we have the same range of emotion, we laugh, we cry, we sleep, we want to be happy. in a society that focuses on differences in individuals, perhaps we should focus on similarities. "If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?" (if we see scarves or pandas, are we not scared?). if you really think about it, it will blow your mind and any preconceptions away.

sorry no crush stuff rn. i might write about some boys when i get back from dinner, but rn, i gotta go.

scarves and pandas will probably take me
out
Mikey lovebug mcloverton.

poetry

This is one of the few poems i've ever been really proud of. it was just a conversation between me and a friend that got dumped by a girl and i just let it flow. read the poem and follow the instructions.

Love

the world is talking, just listen.
quiet your mind.
clear the roadblocks in your mind
feel the way your heart beats.
the way you breathe.
realize how much of this little world you control.
flow with the world
let it tell you its secrets.
as a close friend
allow your world to open up.
it would gladly lay all its answers before you.
but it speaks a different language.
feel its vibrations.
let it talk.
you were made to understand it.
do you see anything?
does your heart feel a certain way?
is your brain starting to shut up?
you don't really need it.
your body runs off the worlds vibrations.
it breathes with you.
it lives with you.
it beats with your heart.
it loves with you.
it falls from love with you.
theres a flower somewhere that curled up when it heard about him
theres a tree that died with her
theres a seed for every person on this earth.
quite a few of them will bloom. just so you can smell them.
some for you to see their beauty.
some to see you.
some to hear your thoughts.
all in the worlds vibration.
the world wants you to succeed.
for, when you succeed, it succeeds.
and love flows through its vibration.

see my notice at the bottom of the page before copying.

Eirey

So ive talked a bit about one of my crushes and i wanted to expand on it. Eirey and ive been friends since freshman year- we used to ride the bus to school together and we got along rly well. it was cool cuz he played hockey with me soph year so we got pretty close- we were some of the few sane people on the team. i started giving him rides to games and stuff and i started talking to him bout how he felt about friends and dates and stuff. he was always really cool about talking. we had a really long text conversation one day and i wound up telling him i was gay. he didnt really understand so i kept talking to him until it kinda set in. i still dont think he gets it- hed rather i just be one of the boys. when my teammate died we got really close- now for the emotional part. we both had a pretty rough day after it happened, but we were together. i talked to him nonstop for three or four days. but early on he kinda refused to cry- i could see the sadness and anger and every other emotion that comes after your best friend dies well up in him. i just stopped and gave him the most amazing hug. once i had my arms around him, he started crying softly. i could hear his heart beat slowly and his breathing shudder as tears streamed down his face. thats when i knew i wanted to never let go. it was a defining moment in my sexuality as well- i realized how much more satisfied i was with holding someone than being held. i wanted to be there and let him know that everything was going to be alright as long as my hands were firmly holding him close. weve always had a close relationship, but theres never been anything beyond friendship that i could grasp. ive always just wanted to be like... can i hug you one more time... or maybe a kiss?

so... im gonna have very little downtime this week- sorry bout not posting very often. i have a lot of work to do for summer school... shitty, i know. but im like... actually doing work. which is kinda nice. i wanted to talk to everyone about one of my hobbies- i like to meditate. i was lucky enough to be exposed to a lot of world religions as a kid, so i took up an interest in the eastern vedic religions, and theyve stuck with me ever since. the best thing about them is their mystic practices- you can just sit around and have a huge realization about your life- and thats pretty awesome. i dont wanna get really like... controversial or anything- but give it a try. if anyone wants it, ive written some interpretations of my experiences with meditation- just small things, but i really like them. but just take a few minutes to sit and breathe and rly focus on your breathing in its completeness let any thoughts pass by and just sit. its weird how good it feels. yeah- just a mikeybyte. ill post something more extravagant later.
M2 has left the building
out.

Sooooooooo.... i've been hangin out with me lately. im staying a little out of the busy w/friends scene and just taking time to relax. i was on youtube and i remembered one of my favorite youtube celebrities- daveywavey (wickydkewl on youtube). he makes some great videos and has an adorable voice... did i mention he does his videos shirtless? yeah. one of his videos i stumbled upon today-

i was thinking about why i liked all of these guys that play hockey and LAX... and i guess he helped me to answer just that question. not only is it hockey butt- but hockey players are often aggressively goal oriented- driven; fighters. when i find a hockey player who can be a man with a goal and can be a caring individual- its frankly orgasmic. maybe thats why b, frenchy, and eiry are such cuties. or maybe it is just the hockey butt...

M2... (aside:why do i still use m2?)

out.

swimmers... yes. wait- what?

i woke up at five in the morning today. i wore the same outfit two days in a row. i got on a bus filled with assorted crazy hobos. sat on a beach in record temperatures. drank a gallon+ of liquids. ate crappy bbq- but it was worth it. what could make that experience worth it? swimmer bodies. i worked a charity swimming event in downtown Chi-town. i love swimmers. theyre often way too built for their own good- tall, lithe. just beautiful. (i wont mention that divers often look much better) but i will say that there are also some really unattractive swimmers as well. why do old men think they look good in speedos? sit down. this aint pride, where anyone gets away with wearing nothing. put on pants. i remembered something else about me today- i think girls with guys haircuts are often really cute. i mean. i could totally like them in a very gay way. also- i sleep too much. i take 1-2 hr naps every day and dont do much exercise as to tire me out. the best part of me napping is that my parents walk in, wake me up, and expect me to have lucid conversations with them. my dad woke me up about an hour and a half ago and just started having a conversation with me. all i remember is that i said uh-huh and then what over and over again... odd. this was kind of stream of consciousness. wait- what? M2- out.

softness

so i figured id give you "a day in the life of M2" or rather "so far today" in the life of M2-

Wake up- 6:00. not yet. 6:10. not yet. 6:28. ugh.

Eat something- generally its something horrible for me or carnation instant breakfast.

Go to summer school-this is where my story gets interesting-

i get to school around 8 dressed in AmerEagle pants and Abercrombie shirt. i looked good. period. lol. as i sit down to wait for class to start- frenchy walks in. light purple shirt (lilac, if you will) corduroy pants. sits down. across from me. class starts, and being the court jester i am, i crack a few jokes, ppl laugh. ace a test. make some more jokes- then, something interesting happens...

Take break from class- i walk out of the room and the purple shirts waiting there for me. smiling with every snag of eye contact he makes.

Tell him his purple shirt has a spot on it by caressing the area- this was odd. i didnt exactly intend to rub his oblique, but i did. he made eye contact- smiled again- removed what appeared to be lint and replied, playfully, "not anymore". his shirt was excessively soft. i was amazed, cuz the material looked somewhat rough. his body was rock hard- as i already basically knew.

Walk back into class- boring lectures resume as i continue to think about purple shirt. "write this down" my teacher blares and briefly describes our potential failure in the class and in future studies if we dont take notes. frankly- fuck him. he thinks he knows what makes us do well. tell that to his assignments.

Get up as class ends

Stride toward purple shirt

Once in range, caress the hair right above his collar- it was so soft. we'd had a conversation about conditioner once before... which was incredibly homosexual. he giggled as i walked away, but i didnt look back (undercover homo)[the James(or Jane;-) Bond of froots].

Look at friend like im the boss- it felt awesome. my friend was just like- damn. he tha boss.

Come home

Work on linux computer

Realize we dont have a chat supported by empathy chat system

Listen to my dad yell at inanimate objects as i write this post

Finish writing this post- more of a to-do.

just a day in the life...

much lovesies- mikey

out.

about me

I totally realized as i wrote the last one that i should probably talk a little bit about myself-

im a fruit; a homo; light in the loafers; gay; a fag (lets get all the names out of the way now).

i like penis (just wanted to make sure you got the message)

ive had possibly the worst year of my life

-my mom has breast cancer

-my friend/teammate commited suicide

-i got booted out of an activity i loved (hint: not hockey)

-i got ditched by dbag friends

/complain

im in love with at least three guys at once

i talk consistently about the aforementioned males all the time

im slightly reverse bi-curious

im a buddhist/ hardcore philosopher

i love talking to people- any people- and helping them solve problems

im loud and attention loving (but what fruit isnt)

I LOVE USING THE WORD LOVE- AND I LOVE YOU.

My Family

you ever stay up deciding whether to cry or not? i do. frequently. i dont wanna seem emo or anything (even tho emo guys are smoking hot), but i often have to make the decision whether to cry or lay in bed wanting to cry. pretty dismal, right? my moms been on some steroids that have made her insane- and my dads always been insane- so it really sucks right now. i've been hating it. but (i love buts, they make bad stories sound so nice) i have some prospects in the guy world. what happens when you put a frenchman, an irishman, and mikey in the same summer school class(and seat them all next to each other)? good things. good things happen. ive been really good friends with the irishman for a while (irish swede- i know no better combo) and our friendship has really blossomed; i feel like i could take it to the next level eventually. the frenchman is the most attractive guy i know. hes been all over me some days, and wont even look at me on others. hes weird as hell. OH-B texted me again over the break randomly and i fell apart. i hate that. i feel like the smallest things mean love. its rough. but i have to thank maddie and austin and david for helping me through it. if, by some odd chance, someone else reads this- visit maddies blog (savedbytheblog14.blogspot.com) and the bdny forum (bdnynation.yuku.com)

"The Second Coming"

so i've wanted to join the blog scene for a while now, as im sure all the old guys from hockeykidmn remember- so i bit the bullet and just did it. before i started posting, i just wanted to say a few things-

1. this is not, and was never intended to/ever will be, a replacement for "mikey"one. i know everybody wants a second mikey- but im not him... exactly...

2. im not him. thats good and bad. i can be a lot better than he was and i can be the age i say i am. but if youre expecting another mn- too frickin bad.

3. im not totally consistent when it comes to things. i dont have PaTT3Rns of typing like a certain someone claimed to have- i abbrev. what i think i should, and i Capitalize what i want. deal.

4. I LOVE YOU ALL. anyone who already knows me has offered unmeasurable support, and i created this blog- in a way- to give back.

5. here goes. im gonna dive in head first. read my next post for your first introduction to mikeytoo's life.