hockey season has officially started here. you can tell by the bags under my eyes and the freshmen who consistently talk bout how theyre on the team. oi. i never know what to say bout that. i didnt flaunt my hockey career (mainly cuz i never did anything awesome... but neither did they) and i still dont. its odd. yeah. between morning practices and workout sessions im pretty wiped. but you gotta do work to get work done (tantology, anyone?).
so. what you all give a damn about- boys. irish is lookin pretty good right now... but hes an alcohomo... so i gotta do some work with him before i can get anything. breaking peoples misconceptions about homo is harder than convincing that fat girl who cries a lot that shes really attractive. dont get me wrong, mikey can do it- but mikey needs to stop talking in the third person first. i either need hours alone with him or copious amounts of alcohol. the latter, even in this age, is easier. ill have to hit him up after he comes home from a party. easily done. i always see him wrestling with himself- especially bout hanging out with me. he knows im a 'mo, and hes kinda awk bout it. i gave him an amazing massage- but then he "had to leave" i think he meant to say "was embarrassed he had a boner"... w/e. i know he'll come crawling back. its how guys work. im like a siren. except for how this is all proably just a dream sequence.
my next point- how often do you get your hopes up bout a guy only to realize he, for one reason or another, doesnt think its right to be with you? you ever been there? i seem to attract closet-dwellers(hot ones, at that) only to realize they live so far in the closet they couldn't turn the doorknob if they tried. that ever happened to you? howd it turn out? you ever do a deep closet rescue?
I've said before that I seem to attract straight guys - never really sure why. I think it's because I'm totally not butch *or* fem. I'm just kind of amorphous.
ReplyDeleteThat being said - yeah, I've certainly helped open the closet door for a couple of guys. I wouldn't recommend it if you have hopes of romance, though - that only happens in the movies. In Real Life(tm), it takes years of screwing around and screwing up before most ex-straight guys can really take a relationship seriously. You can't blame them - they're kids who've just been given the keys to a candy store, even if they only recently learned they like sweets. You have to let them OD and throw up all over the place before you can seriously talk about moderation.
... okay, not a fun analogy, but still pretty accurate. If you think about it, straight kids get most of high school and junior high to figure out their dating dynamic; coming out in your late teens or 20's just means you start all over.
As for getting hopes up, well, there isn't much you can do about that. Just be sure to maintain the difference between fantasy and actual. After a while, you just get used to it - and believe me, since 99.9% of the guys I'm attracted to aren't attracted to me but want to be friends (seriously friends, not just a line), I've had plenty of practice.
yeah. that kind of sucks. youre stronger than i am, austin. "just friends" always stings like a bitch. and i never know where the line is. i always cross it and then my relationships get awkward.
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