Tuesday, October 5, 2010
I'm kinda lonely...
so... last saturday or sunday, while i was sleeping in, all i could think about was boy after boy. you might say "mikey- how is this not normal?" to which i answer "it is not extraordinary, but it hurt this time." im not unhappy or depressed, but it just seems like im missing boys more than ever. i long just for physical contact. just a cuddle or a hug- maybe- just maybe- a kiss. it eats me alive. i feel like a cutie with soft skin and a warm smile is what i need right now, but i have little chance of finding him. i hope im wrong. sometimes i just lay and pretend like im not lying there alone. pretend i have french, b, or awk holding me. that someone needs me, and that i need them. it leaves me feeling empty. i enjoy spending time just with myself, but i just wish there was someone i could count on to make me happy and to make happy. i guess thats all i really wanted to say. morning practice- better get to bed. ill see you, family #2. m#2, out.
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I know how you feel, too much.
ReplyDeleteDitto to what Luke said. Hang in there. It's hard not to feel lonely for physical contact. Straight people feel the same way.
ReplyDelete*hug*?
ReplyDelete*bear hug* rawr. im just gonna guess mr. lonely here is spam... if not, welcome. it just hurts how bad i want it. i feel like theres something wrong. i want a guy way too bad. idk.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that I'm in a position to offer much experience; I'm not exactly normal on the "loneliness" scale.
ReplyDeleteOn one side, I've always felt like the guy on the outside looking in - always, in any situation; at this point, I think it may even be biochemical. I've just never felt "at home" or like I belonged in any group or location. So, that gets pretty lonely - like, once every couple of months I'll drive myself out to a beachside cliff and just cry for an hour or two kind of lonely.
On the other side, I'm asocial and don't really "need" people, so I don't get the "emptiness in bed" feeling. I've also got a few close friends who, while nothing romantic or even really intimate, are still enough social interaction to meet my quota.
(And yes, I know it's hard to reconcile generic feelings of total isolation with asocial behavior; it's the difference between being alone in a city and being alone on a deserted isle.)
But then, I've also had longer-term relationships and those amazing moments when the world slows down as he smiles at you.
So, *hug* is about the best I can offer, from a distance at least. The best you can do is *not* bury the feelings but accept them, and be the best person you can be so that you're ready when opportunity knocks.
i hear you dude.....
ReplyDelete[[big hug]]
- cheers....
p.s. maybe give my blog a look-see? http://twoforflinchingfiveforfighting.blogspot.com/
i read your blog. i dont follow stuff just cuz ive never really thought of clicking the buttons to do it. i just read. garment workers, hifive, guy from mnation whos too cool for you. i do read. honest.
ReplyDelete"I went to a shrink
ReplyDeleteTo analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down
I went to a whore
He said my live's a bore
And quit no whining cause it's bringing her down"
Basket case by Greenday... ha jk. Hugs
Well there's nothing I can say here to make that feeling go away. The only advice I can give is one day you will have that boy who shares your bed. And there will be arguments over stupid shit. So remember back to this feeling, swallow the pride and let it go so that night you can curl up with that boy you love and hold him tight.
ReplyDeleteI know how you're feeling (in a similar spot myself). Just make sure you don't let your loneliness affect your judgement on potential bfs in the future. You don't want to be with a guy in order to not feel lonely any more, only to figure out that you don't even like the guy. Been on the receiving end of that. It sucks
ReplyDeleteI agree with Robbie, it's great to cuddle and be with someone, but make sure you wait for the right person and the feelings are mutual. Don't be doing it just to be doing it(not talking about sex though) Make sure you like the guy!!
ReplyDeletei agree completely. i kinda jumped on a guy just cuz he was gay. it lasted a while. but i was never really happy. i wouldnt let someone be my boy less i really liked em. not the same mistake again.
ReplyDelete