About a hug

A few of days ago Mikey invited me to comment here, that just goes to show you that he's a really generous n selfless guy. We were chatting about the different aspects of hugging, yeah hugging, go figure... n he thought that'd make a nice post. I hope he hasn't totally regretted it... Mikey is a pretty big hugger but I, on the other hand, like being hugged better, I'm the opposite. It's just that I like it when a big guy completely envelops me, I like the weight, the warmth (not just physical), the feeling of beloging n fitting in that right spot.

You feel protected, sheltered n also powerless but it's a good powerless, giving up power to someone you trust is exhilarating. It's kinda like you were in a rollercoaster, you just surrender, have fun n trust that everything will be all right. The truth is that you're not really giving up power but that they're so attentive n kind n caring that you feel like you're in the centre of the world (at least their world, which is pretty great). What an awesome feeling! N the opposite is also true, their hug is so huge that it surrounds you completely n they become your world.

I'm not a fem n I don't fit the gay stereotype either but I know there are heterosexual tensions in homosexual relationships. But hey, there are straight guys wo like being dominated by women n that doesn't make them less of a man. It's a fetish like many others but it's also much more. It's also about closeness, being ther for each other, intimacy, trust n acceptance.

A hug is more intimate than a lot of things, even a kiss, imo. Western culture is pretty much about individuality n "personal space". There's inhibitions, shyness n we think that tenderness is a weakness, that being sentimental is silly. We're also afraid of not being hugged back, that we won't be correponded so we don't put ourselves out there.

N this computer stuff doesn't help either. I think that's why teens today hug waaay more than they used to, they miss human touch. That's a good thing. Plus ppl are always doing massages n shiatsu n stuff not cuz they need massages but I think cuz they need human touch yeah so now you gotta pay to be touched.

But I think we gotta put ourselves out there more often (at least I do). We think we can retain power n be strong n all that but I read somewhere that to gain power you gotta give it up first n it's true. For example, think of a singer, he goes to thousands of ppl n sings n opens his heart out n says very intimate, personal things n what he gets? lots of fans, respect n love back. He doesn't lose but gains power.

There are lots of things that we can say are hugs like: cuddling, spooning, holding... there are fake hugs, hugs w/ taps on the back that's like saying "enough hugging pal", hugs that rock sideways (these are awesome), w/ rubs on the back... as long as they're honest n you mean it, it's all good.

So don't know what's my point cuz I don't really have one. So I guess that's it... hope you liked it. Don't forget to check Madeleine's blog, she's got a new post n go to Tyler's blog too, he's a good guy who's asking for our help. Thanks Mikey for everything, this was fun. N I really hope someday we can all meet n, what the heck, hug.
Luke
guest contributor
P.S: This is a painting by a famous Brazilian artist, Romero Britto, called "The Hug"