band-aids.

could we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars?
i feel a lot better guys, and thanks for the support. Pots has been yelling me to keep posting even though i really hate it (thats for all the times you ragged on me, pots! ha!)... but i realized soon enough that i need to be strong, not just for me, but for all the other cutey fruitys out there who dont know what to do. and to suggest they wear skinny jeans and come visit me. it gets hard some times, but i want you guys to know that id never leave this world- i love you too much (and boys too much) to leave you alone; what would you guys do without my wonderful humor and lip-syncing? ive thought a lot about everything and i wanted to ask you guys- you ever feel like not being with a guy is disappointing because you know you could make them happy? i always say that ill settle for best friend, but fact of the matter is i want to give more. it hurts knowing that we cant wake up in each other's arms or kiss. sex would be fun too. but the thoughts just- hurt. you feel an empty spot bubble up and you grab a teddy bear. its like when you drink coke too fast and you burp out your soul. or you watch (better yet, play on) a team take it to the cup and get stomped (sorry flyers fans). thats the worst bit. not the rejection or dismissal, just the thoughts. "thinking bout her, thinking bout me, thinking bout us, what we gon' be; open my eyes, yeah, it was only just a dream"

shit

i know ive let you guys down with my lack of blog posts. i'd like to apologize right now. but its time for sad mikey. ive gotten to the point where i think i need some sort of drugs just to keep me going from day to day. i feel like im constantly failing at everything i do. actually, i take it back- i AM failing at everything i do. friends. family. school. hockey. lets just say im on the last line for the third year in a row. ive ditched and been ditched by most of my friends. i'll never have a guy in a million years. i'm just so f'ing tired of this. im gonna talk to a therapist and get happy pills. i just cant go on with all my problems forever. its mikey- the human punching bag, the kid who cant shoot, the kid whos insecure, the faggot who cant get a guy, the actor who cant find the time in his jerking off schedule to act- except like a straight boy. thats all ive ever been, thats all ill ever become. its my destiny to make everyone feel better about their shitty lives. f me. f me hard.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

f me. ill just cry like the pussy i am. the usual mikey.
a nice grim comment question- what does being happy feel like? i honestly cant remember.

^^why god doesnt exist^^
im out. M2