band-aids.

could we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars?
i feel a lot better guys, and thanks for the support. Pots has been yelling me to keep posting even though i really hate it (thats for all the times you ragged on me, pots! ha!)... but i realized soon enough that i need to be strong, not just for me, but for all the other cutey fruitys out there who dont know what to do. and to suggest they wear skinny jeans and come visit me. it gets hard some times, but i want you guys to know that id never leave this world- i love you too much (and boys too much) to leave you alone; what would you guys do without my wonderful humor and lip-syncing? ive thought a lot about everything and i wanted to ask you guys- you ever feel like not being with a guy is disappointing because you know you could make them happy? i always say that ill settle for best friend, but fact of the matter is i want to give more. it hurts knowing that we cant wake up in each other's arms or kiss. sex would be fun too. but the thoughts just- hurt. you feel an empty spot bubble up and you grab a teddy bear. its like when you drink coke too fast and you burp out your soul. or you watch (better yet, play on) a team take it to the cup and get stomped (sorry flyers fans). thats the worst bit. not the rejection or dismissal, just the thoughts. "thinking bout her, thinking bout me, thinking bout us, what we gon' be; open my eyes, yeah, it was only just a dream"

shit

i know ive let you guys down with my lack of blog posts. i'd like to apologize right now. but its time for sad mikey. ive gotten to the point where i think i need some sort of drugs just to keep me going from day to day. i feel like im constantly failing at everything i do. actually, i take it back- i AM failing at everything i do. friends. family. school. hockey. lets just say im on the last line for the third year in a row. ive ditched and been ditched by most of my friends. i'll never have a guy in a million years. i'm just so f'ing tired of this. im gonna talk to a therapist and get happy pills. i just cant go on with all my problems forever. its mikey- the human punching bag, the kid who cant shoot, the kid whos insecure, the faggot who cant get a guy, the actor who cant find the time in his jerking off schedule to act- except like a straight boy. thats all ive ever been, thats all ill ever become. its my destiny to make everyone feel better about their shitty lives. f me. f me hard.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

f me. ill just cry like the pussy i am. the usual mikey.
a nice grim comment question- what does being happy feel like? i honestly cant remember.

^^why god doesnt exist^^
im out. M2

gayboy crushes hurt

I wanted to talk about an experience i had today. i was sitting at the mall waiting for my sister and mom to meet up with me, and a beautiful guy walked past. i mean beautiful. i could barely even think. he had the kind of hair that says PLAY WITH MEEEEE really loud. eyes that matched. very modern european facial structure. u know what the worst part was? it reminded me of b. the hair. the eyes. the face. it was all structured perfectly. so was b's. it made me feel hollow. i felt like something was missing. i wanted to just grab on to someone and never let go. it hurts just thinking about it- the perfect guys all remind me of each other. and i just want a teddy bear to squeeze. to dry my tears. thats all i really wanted to say. thanks for reading.
mikeytoo. out.

CLARIFICATION

My last post sparked some really insightful conversation. I'd like to clarify my previous statements. Think about this: have you ever had a "friend with benefits"? If you have, id like to get a comment about how you felt and how it ended up. If you think about it, FWB is really a relationship with sex and non-intimate relation. Im gonna start at the basics and work my way up here, so follow my logic:

1.You like sex. A lot. Too much almost. (im a mind reader, i swear)
2.Sex does not initiate a relationship by its own power. I can have sex with a hooker or have a one night stand and completely enjoy myself.
3.Relationships arent always good, easy to work with, obtainable, or pleasurable.

Because of axioms 1-3 i have proven that sex feels good, even without a relationship.
can we all agree about that?
(NOTE: by "feel good" i mean aim to climax. i realize there are many wrong ways to skin a cat.)

1.Sex without a relationship is good.
-Relationships are completely unimportant to the rest of this proof-
THIS NOW GOES REVERSE (ANALYSIS)
2.Consider all the forms of non-relational sex. Masturbation. Mutual masturbation. Friends With Benefits.
3.Look at friends with benefits as a step up from mutual masturbation.
4.Look at mutual masturbation as advanced masturbation.
5.Masturbation can be done in literally an infinite number of ways, all of which feel good.
6.Mutual masturbation, like masturbation can be done an infinite number of ways. all of which feel good.
7.The partner, in terms of mutual masturbation, doesnt matter. It still has the same goal: to feel good. No matter what, it approaches its goal, and feels good.
8.FWB can be done an infinite number of ways: Boys. Girls. Trans of every variety- All of which feel good.
9.The partner, in terms of FWB, doesnt matter. It still has the same goal: to feel good. No matter who does it, it approaches its goal, and feels good.
10.Boy.Girl.Trans. in terms of FWB, all feel good.
11.Explain to me where the "disgust" comes from.

From points 1-11, we can come to understand that pleasure is separate from sex and relationship. To claim that you only want to have sex with one type of person is arrogant in its nature (not arrogant with its negative connotation, just arrogant- overstepping ones bounds in terms of power). This was my earlier point. We all like sex. Why do we limit ourselves? Frankly- media. We're told we have to choose what we like, what we want to have sex with.

Dont get me wrong. I wont say theres not preference. Preference matters- kind of. I think that two people fairly close to each other shouldnt limit their experience as two humans because of some odd ideals instilled in them. I think sex brings us together on a natural level. I would have sex with most people i know. I want to screw almost constantly, and so do the people i know. Allow me to ask the most important question: Why not?

Thanks for reading. This took me a pretty long time. I would love to hear all your opinions.

lity and that "turning" is merely enlightenment of that human nature.

neuroscience, couldnt it really be a fight againt the inborn animal nature to fuck everything and anything? I posit that human nature is that of bisexua

bisexual desires. I was thinking- a lot of gays think that being gay/bi ends the fight against themselves. If we consider freudian psychology and modern